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Posts Tagged ‘Meeting’


In Dil Se on February 6, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Meetings haunt me! Since the time i came into this corporate world I had meetings. Meetings with HR, Meetings with department  head, meeting with team managers, meeting with team lead, meeting with colleagues. By the time my first day ended i had seen all board rooms but not my cubicle. And since then i just have meetings but i couldn’t understand point of going to these meetings. People just come in to the rooms, some stats geeks fool them with bar charts and pie diagrams, some yawn, some tweet, some just complete their last night’s half dreams. No one is interested what the other guy is saying, it’s all gonna land up in their mailboxes just after this torture. But still they call meetings, and waste some official time.

They say if you are bored in office having nothing to do call some people in a room and have a meeting. If you are a manager or a team lead it’s your birth right to call and ask people some awkward questions. Review meetings are the most fruitless of all. These have no agenda, no purpose, no outcomes nothing. Just people come there like a frightened sheep, boss ask them what they were doing, people lie and boss lets them off. I wish someone should just say the truth “i was attending your meeting, I could just do nothing”. I wanna see boss’s face on this.

The funniest things happen in the teleconferences. Specially with an off shore party. If it has a time difference of around 12 hrs they are worse. First of all we have to match our clocks. Then there is hopeless day light saving. I just don’t understand these Americans. They live in air conditioned apartments, offices; Use all the electricity for heating and lighting; still they want to save the day light! What ever! These changes in time zones cause a lot of problem. And then there ought to have a bragger who has just returned from the on site duty will expose his half knowledge of american systems in their lent accent.

So we call the other party, either these are in early morning hours or late nights, Whenever you plan either of the two parties will be sleepy like hell. If it’s a video conference then you can actually see people in back seats dozing off. I spot them and call their names out loud just to see their reactions. Out of 1 hr planned meeting most of it goes into understanding what the other guy is saying. SI-British units, Queen’s and American English all are just great chemistry for confusion. I prefer to go to these meetings cause out of 1 hr of alloted time we only have 10 mins of fruitful discussion. Baki sab Bhak chodi!!!

I feel there should be mannerism classes for meetings too. You need to be crazy to play your Sheila ki Jawani ring tone in front of VP. But you just can’t keep your phone silent. And if it’s more important to call and tell your wife that you wont be getting the Sabji from bajar than 2000 cr Rs business deal. Then dude why are you here? Go and buy the vegetables. Akhir Papi pet ka sawal hai!!!

Beherhal, My time is running out and i need to catch a meeting with my ex GF’s dad, To discuss some drinking plan I need to get off. But before that to all you Jaspal Bhatti fan i want to remind one of episodes of Flop Show in which they have a sarkari meeting just to discuss and fix the date of next meeting 😛

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