Comments are as precious as your visit here!

Posts Tagged ‘Professional’

Do Not Reinvent the Wheel Copy Paste it

In Dil Se on May 26, 2011 at 11:41 pm

They say the prehistoric human who first invented a wheel didn’t know what he was doing. He might have seen round boulders rolling down faster than the square one and that might be the flash of genius for invention of wheel. Since then we have come far from heavy stone wheels to alloy wheels and even moving further to spoke less wheels. But the basic concept of having a round circular minimum friction element to ease the movement of heavier irregular element over the surface of earth has not changed. So that does not mean we have invented various wheels but that means we just innovatively found various ways to use the wheel.

Most of the times in our professional life especially when we are infants crawling into the corporate world we do not understand the meaning of this “not reinventing the wheel” term. When you are an engineering graduate freshly out of oven of practical and manual calculations you tend to verify everything you do with a critical scale. You do not believe in the rule of thumb or standard practices anymore. You feel that being an engineering graduate you should know what goes behind this stuff. How every stuff works? You then start digging into the matter; you question age old standards and practices. You try to make difference by adding your own inventions. Your efforts can be right, logically correct but utterly useless.

Unfortunately this world does not revolve around technical superiority. This era demands innovation not invention. Innovations are someone else’s invention wrapped and decorated by your intelligence. Many of these innovations have copy pasting as a major inspiration. Innovations cannot be pulled out of thin air. Each innovation needs to have an invention in its backbone. Hence to make some innovative findings we have to copy paste the original invention and edit, re-paste, debug and rerun it to make it look like an innovation. The decorated innovations sell. No one looks back into the source of cntrl-c. There should be no shame in doing copy pasting if it is easing out some efforts. Although a true copy paster should not be a blind person otherwise there will be some invention to happen for sure.

I believe in copy pasting. Every engineer does that during submission period. All the practicals and journals are copy pasted. No one has his Final year project report entirely drafted by him without any kind of wikian copying. It’s not cheating to copy if you have read the whole thing. But blind cntrl-c, cntrl-v exercise does not help. You should at least change the format, active voice to passive voice, combine sentence al the grammar you learned in fifth grade will help to innovate your reports. The same goes correct for your deliverables in a project. Copy and paste whole world is balanced on these two things. It starts from copying phonetics in early childhood to the end of the life. It is the eternal truth and gets better by every cntrl-v hit. It is no shame in copying from a learned in exam, after all you are the one who is writing in the exam, you should get all the marks you deserve. Why to re-invent something which is already available in the answer sheet of neighbouring nerd?

On a closing note I want to remind you all that all the inventions are result of great hard work of their inventors, but all the innovations are result of further more hard work and dedication of the innovators. To innovate you have to do the copy pasting but it’s your ability and skill that make you different if someone else can find your cntrl-v worth another cntrl-c.

Advertisements

Jugaad

In Dil Se on February 26, 2011 at 12:12 am

Jugaad is a magical word. Just like in fairy tails calling “aabra ka dabra” can bring out anything out of thin air, Jugaad can get anything done in real word. It is like the ultimate solution to every problem, last resort to every journey, only way out from point of no return. In fact it is the greatest skill god has given to mankind to survive in the race of evolution. Jugaad has great powers. If someone just assures you that he has some jugaad to help you out, you are most confident that your work will certainly be done. Jugaad is god’s helping hand on earth.

Jugaad literally means  “an arrangement or a work around, which has to be used because of lack of resources”. It is the product of highest level of creativity and imagination to utilize the limited and cheap resources to give out the desired result. It has even found a place in unofficial management dictionary for its widespread reach and effectiveness. Moreover since it is practically so spontaneous & genuine that there is no any danger of copyright crime or intellectual property theft. Doing a Jugaad is legally accepted since most of the times it is used to find out way around the legal obligations. Jugaad can be used to repair something, buy or sell or just create what you want with what you have. Jugaad satisfies all, no harm to any one cause everyone knows and respects Jugaad. Jugaad has such a great public recognition.

When I was in engineering college my professor used to give us practical assignments. The assignment used to be to develop or test something theoretically and then do it practically using the given resources. In theory, as engineering practices, we used to come up with impractical solutions. For example calculations of weights up to mg accuracy, dimensions with micrometeoritic tolerance and  all. But practically these precisions were impossible to achieve with government college lab apparatuses. Clumsy weights and worn out scales used to create a big question in front of us to prove our theory practically. Bright brains of the class used to fail over this challenge. But our professor had only one solution to each question. “Do some Jugaad! I just want this damn thing to move, I don’t care how you do, But just Do!”

Then we used to work around, wrecking all the theories asunder, managing our solutions to change as per the given resources, deleting this, adding that, doing everything possible, thinking again and again we used to find a perfect Jugaad which had the capability to meet our professors acceptations. And just to increase the competitiveness he used to make groups and the group with best Jugaad used to win the highest rewards.

Jugaad is my most valuable learning from college. It was used not only in practical lab or examination hall but also more prominently in relationships. In fact Jugaad was another name for one’s girl/boy friend. If a boy is Jugaadu then he certainly has a lot many girls around him. If you look closely you can actually understand why a relationship is more or less like a Jugaad. Just like in Jugaad you have to work around in a relationship with available resources. Most of the times these worked out ways are illogical and practically impossible. Still just like Jugaad relationship work out in spite of everyone’s lack of confidence in it. And just like Jugaad they triumph and inspires in the tales of following generations.

So this dexterous Jugaad has many advantages. But to do a Jugaad is not a child’s play. Jugaad needs imagination, High level of creativity, a skill of thinking out of the box. Jugaad can not be learnt it should come from within. You can always learn how a Jugaad is done, but you can never understand how some one has invented it. In fact every scientific invention or innovation is nothing but a Jugaad. The first man who was too weak to push a flat rock on the ground did a Jugaad to come up with the wheel. Claw less man came up with Jugaad of stones to start the stone age. As the needs increased he developed the Jugaad of metals, machines, computers, laptops, microchips, mobile phones and lot many to come. Anthropologically speaking the only reason behind Man’s intelligent evolution is his ability to use the things around him to do the desired work (that is why chimps are close to Man ).In other words our whole success of evolutionary  excellency is nothing but Jugaad. A Jugaad which has continued for years and will continue till the last Man is alive.

Become a better liar

In Dil Se on February 10, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Lying is the most difficult thing. An underrated art which is not well acclaimed by society. Even though at some point of time everyone lies, but hearing someone justifying it makes us go on back foot. We don’t trust the liar even if he is telling a truth. Rather we cannot differentiate when the liar is lying or telling plain truth. A lying artist is the one who can make a rapport among people about his trustworthiness. People know he is indeed lying, but his words should make them believe in him. He is like a magician who by trick of his act makes people believe the unimaginable.

Lying needs to be refined. A crude lie is an easy catch. TAO’s Art of war says that to win a battle you should know your enemy. Lying is like a battle. A battle against the truth. This battle is difficult since truth obviously has better chances of winning. This means you should know exact truth about things which you are going to lie about. Making things up won’t help if you want to pour a lie down your victim’s throat. Know the truth, decorate it with attractive words, make it farji and then present it to your client. Now even if there is any truth peeping out of the attractive lie, he will just ignore it. Because no one wants a bitter truth but a sweetened lie.

George Costanza once said, a lie is not a lie unless you stop believing it. To be a better liar, first you should believe in it. Believe in the lie, think around it. Make up details, Gather evidences, close all the loop holes and then present it with confidence. For example if you want to lie about your previous day’s sick leave in office, don’t go with a smile on other day. Rather don’t bath, don’t make your hair, be as filthy and sick as you can. Take some old medicine wrappers with you, keep them next to your monitor or keyboard. If someone passes by your cubcle cough or sneeze or just give out a loud sigh. You should be so lousy in your actions that everyone should feel like you needed rest but for sake of work you came to office. Then after lunch hour go to boss with some work, take a tissue with you. Discuss work with boss, and when he is saying something blow your nose into tissue paper. Irritate him with this. After some time he will finally ask you about your health. Now tell him that you didn’t come yesterday because of headache, body pain etc. (for symptoms of general sickness refer Wikipedia). He will ask you “how are you feeling today?” You tell “A bit better than yesterday, but badly need a rest”. Whack!!! Boss will let you go early from the office. It’s just matter of your acting skills if you fetch one or two days more of paid sick leaves with a lie. Go home and enjoy!

Once a lie is deployed, stick to it! Never go back to truth. If the truth is very heavy to bear, then just twist it so it suits you. Accepting a lie is not an option. Say I was not aware of it or someone else tricked you into it. But keep your wicket guarded. Join the truth if needed, take a diplomatic stand, Hide the lie but never accept it. If you are a girl then it can just be avoided with a cute smile. If you are a boy you already have a brain to get out of it! Just be sure that it won’t back fire you!

Being a good liar has great potential. The best thing is it increases your creativity, your analytical skills. You can create a lie, decorate, build things around it everything with a great creativity. There is no limit for a lie. Only truth has got physical limitations. What may go wrong analysis is must for lying, if you can’t think of trapdoors to get out of lie you may get into big trouble. Think twice before you say, but Think twenty times before you lie. The efforts of lying will pay off sooner or later. Just believe in it and the Lie will do its work.
Summing up I would like to give you inspirational examples of great liars. Narad Muni was a liar, his lies were famous in 3 worlds but everyone still believed him. Yudhishthir, Bhagwan Krishna everyone lied for the sake of betterment. Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Narenrdra Modi, Shashi Tharoor all great politicians have lied.

Dhirubhai Ambani, A Raja, Ambani brother, Mark Zuckerberg all great businessmen are proved liars. Lying was never a problem for them, they just did it with full confidence and belief that it appeared as truth to everyone else. What went wrong was that they got caught and that what important is!!

Be a liar, just don’t get caught!!

Meetings

In Dil Se on February 6, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Meetings haunt me! Since the time i came into this corporate world I had meetings. Meetings with HR, Meetings with department  head, meeting with team managers, meeting with team lead, meeting with colleagues. By the time my first day ended i had seen all board rooms but not my cubicle. And since then i just have meetings but i couldn’t understand point of going to these meetings. People just come in to the rooms, some stats geeks fool them with bar charts and pie diagrams, some yawn, some tweet, some just complete their last night’s half dreams. No one is interested what the other guy is saying, it’s all gonna land up in their mailboxes just after this torture. But still they call meetings, and waste some official time.

They say if you are bored in office having nothing to do call some people in a room and have a meeting. If you are a manager or a team lead it’s your birth right to call and ask people some awkward questions. Review meetings are the most fruitless of all. These have no agenda, no purpose, no outcomes nothing. Just people come there like a frightened sheep, boss ask them what they were doing, people lie and boss lets them off. I wish someone should just say the truth “i was attending your meeting, I could just do nothing”. I wanna see boss’s face on this.

The funniest things happen in the teleconferences. Specially with an off shore party. If it has a time difference of around 12 hrs they are worse. First of all we have to match our clocks. Then there is hopeless day light saving. I just don’t understand these Americans. They live in air conditioned apartments, offices; Use all the electricity for heating and lighting; still they want to save the day light! What ever! These changes in time zones cause a lot of problem. And then there ought to have a bragger who has just returned from the on site duty will expose his half knowledge of american systems in their lent accent.

So we call the other party, either these are in early morning hours or late nights, Whenever you plan either of the two parties will be sleepy like hell. If it’s a video conference then you can actually see people in back seats dozing off. I spot them and call their names out loud just to see their reactions. Out of 1 hr planned meeting most of it goes into understanding what the other guy is saying. SI-British units, Queen’s and American English all are just great chemistry for confusion. I prefer to go to these meetings cause out of 1 hr of alloted time we only have 10 mins of fruitful discussion. Baki sab Bhak chodi!!!

I feel there should be mannerism classes for meetings too. You need to be crazy to play your Sheila ki Jawani ring tone in front of VP. But you just can’t keep your phone silent. And if it’s more important to call and tell your wife that you wont be getting the Sabji from bajar than 2000 cr Rs business deal. Then dude why are you here? Go and buy the vegetables. Akhir Papi pet ka sawal hai!!!

Beherhal, My time is running out and i need to catch a meeting with my ex GF’s dad, To discuss some drinking plan I need to get off. But before that to all you Jaspal Bhatti fan i want to remind one of episodes of Flop Show in which they have a sarkari meeting just to discuss and fix the date of next meeting 😛

%d bloggers like this: