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Posts Tagged ‘Psychology’

Social Networking

In Dil Se on January 31, 2012 at 11:33 pm

I have over 900 friends on Facebook!!

More than 200 wished me on my birthday via Facebook!

20 odd called me!

And 2 were with me when clock struck 12 on the previous night!

Is this what social networking has brought to me? I don’t give any damn about birthdays. They are just another day in lazy life. But this is one day when old friends and relatives call you, ask you how you are doing? They tell something about their selves. Now with these damn websites everyone thinks that since they have uploaded their photos and posted their achievements in their ‘Time Line’, the whole world knows what are they up to. In reality no one cares. Every one has his/her own status updates and photos to manage, to keep the track of stats of ‘likes’ and ‘comments’. Or rather retweets and mentions for those who are hooked to tweeter. The follower count to trace. who followed who un-follwed. Mundane things are keeping us busy all the time. And with what?? Just few clicks and strokes of keyboard?? No warmth of a company no hearty chats! Just ‘LOLs’ and ‘ROFLs’ !! Where is this world taking us to?

I don’t know if anyone will ever read this. Even if this gets any pair of eyes scanning the alphabets arranged in a manner. I know there will be a flat face holding those eyes in socket. No emotions, No care for those around you! We are becoming emotionless. We attend those Anna rallies just to post pics on Facebook and get some likes. We go to pilgrimage to click some awesome photos with deities and ‘Having Fun’! We share matters of ‘National concern’ with flick of a finger and our responsibility ends. We ‘Hash Tag’ our concern over natural calamities to console those who have their lives to save rather than reading your tweets you posted from comfort and security of your homes with electricity and luxury of internet connection. We condemn ‘Blasts’ and offer help to those who are victims, giving our phone numbers and details to a stranger on web who can be anyone including those who might have planned this ‘Blast’ just happened. We give our whereabouts to entire worlds to become a ‘king’ on foursquare! And after all this we complain about trolling and web bullying!!

There are people whose entire life revolves around these things. Who can not take any offense against these sites. They advocate these things stating examples of ‘Best Net Friends’ and ‘Tweeter buddies’ with whom they share every thing. Long lost friends who were impossible to find if not by these sites. Marriages arranged, Love flourished, Jobs found and what not. And truly speaking I don’t deny this. These things survived for this much and penetrated so deep in the society speaks volumes about their credibility. Their essence and usefulness in daily life. I am questioning those who use them. To you and Me!

Do we really think before we put things on internet? Are we hampering anyone’s privacy and personal life while tagging them with us in some random pic? Should we use obscene emoticons and words on those who have whole family and professional friends sitting 24×7 on internet? Are we publicly insulting anyone? Are we taking revenge? Burping out any secret? Digging out fights?

What ever be the future of these sites and humanity, In present I feel more lonely in the web of these sites. There is no Social connection no exchange of personal thoughts and views no frank advices or sincere care in any of the things people do via these sites. I miss old college kuttas, Pan taparis and night walks which taught me many important lessons in my life!

I feel this Social networking is actually promoting the self centered ideology making people sulk into private rooms and stay hooked onto the world wild web.

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Thought Works!

In Dil Se on September 11, 2011 at 10:55 pm

How the Thoughts work?

Right here where I am sitting with my laptop trying to think and write, there is a song being played by roommates having a drink party in another room. Someone is playing counter strike. A death match! With sounds of continuous firing of sniper gun, AK47 and One or two occasional shots of Desert Eagle. Bands and dhols playing with Ganesh Visarjan procession. A strong smell of rice being cooked and whistle of pressure cooker appears from nowhere. Eyes strain and try to concentrate and oscillate between screen and keyboard now and then. And in all this commotion I want to desperately write about how my thoughts work to realise and be born on paper.

Open Your Mind

Open Your Mind

Thoughts are distracting; thoughts are clumsy, raw, crude form of mind. They wander like wind in the open field, like a bird in the sky. If the mind settles on something they are swept away like a dead leaf by weakest gust of air. They are uncontrolled, unretractable, unrealistic. There is nothing as volatile as a thought and nothing as free and independent as a mind which creates them.

Brain here has a great job to do. It has to regularise these raw thoughts, bring them in unison and put them on paper through the determined motion of hand and fingers. Cross check that which has come up on paper is really what the mind and thoughts are working on to be. Is it grammatically right, socially acceptable and to the point.

Sometimes it is not, sometimes it absolutely is. But then I wonder how this process goes on, how my brain can perceive, predict and produce what these wandering thoughts may have to say? What is really am ‘I’ thinking?

Consider an emotional issue or an incident that shook your brains out, something very close to your heart and you have to make an opinion about it. What happens? The brain gets confused, lots and lots of thoughts start ringing in your head. Different perceptions and possibilities start to sprout in head. Your emotions, experiences, faiths, believes try to obscure the mind. There is a chaos in seconds; the brain explodes with this mayhem. Brain doesn’t know how to come to one opinion, how to ‘Organise’ thoughts!

In such situations I try to call an assembly of thoughts (it sounds weird but yeah, that’s what I am). All thoughts are given a chance to say what they want to say. The ‘I’ (which is the boss thought) try to listen to thoughts without any prejudice or any bias. The ‘I’ will listen to all possible facets and perceptions. The less likely and silent thoughts are also given a chance to say and put forward their case; they are encouraged to think out of the box. Then the ‘I’ weighs them by trying to be unattached, emotionless about the situation. Though the entire thinking process is too long and too bureaucratic it helps in some trivial and confusing issues where emotions can easily stray away the brain from the absolute position.

The opinion so form is usually most balanced one. Thinking through the emotions and other distractions without being affected by them is hardly possible.  Still stability of mind if consciously maintained may give an opinion which is justifiable in every aspect. It may not be a true opinion and you may not completely believe it but if your mind and brain believes in it, Then yes it’s the best you can get!

 The thoughts stray, the mind wanders but the brain which controls them is in your power. Emotions, Prejudices, Believes, Faiths and Trusts may affect your thoughts. Bodily senses may confuse your brain. But then thoughts have to converge and form opinions, opinions have to convince the brain, and then brain has to find words and express itself to the paper.

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I stray away from the topic a lot of times, cannot keep hold of the thoughts, but then that’s what I’m working on. I want to put my thoughts and words in order. I want them to build in to a logical story a meaningful monologues presentation. It’s hard, It’s tiresome. But I am not a professional; Only inspiration that drives me to do this is my will to produce it. To do this. And that is what matters most to me. I’ll keep on writing; I’ll keep on scribbling as long as the coal in my thought doesn’t shine like diamond through my words.

Another rainy day!

In His Story, Story on September 3, 2011 at 11:47 am

A Rainy Day

I woke up today hearing tender trickle on the window shade!! AGAIN!!!

The sky was dark, darker than when it was during dementors attack in Harry Potter 7. Little drizzle with small droplets of water was coming in from the window onto my face, I was feeling like little kid peeing and splashing his own urine on his pants. The cold intoxicating breeze like a breath of a deadly snake was foul by gutter odor. Gloomy weather, half wet cloths and stinky air were ideal condition to sleep off the idle day and skip work just as Sun did today. But my stomach grumbled and twitched, un-brushed teeth and gas in my stomach made me get up and perform my daily rituals. I had to leave this filthy bliss of bed and rotting warmth of moss infested rug to get going.

Water was already nauseating me, mere mention of it was good enough for me to dry puke and avoid any water contact what so ever. But you know, “Water is Life” and all, I had to use it, to brush, to clean my filth, to wash myself after that. I thought of skipping the bath for a day but if i do that today it would be a week without shower, so I strike out that thought for the sake of hygiene, I dry washed myself with wet tissues and put on a lot of deodorant. I was acting like a deodorant to the deodorant. We successfully cancelled out each others odor. So I put perfume. Nice provogue shirt and comfortable pepe jeans were waiting for me where I dropped them last night. Right at the spot near my spanky clean lee cooper shoes. Rainy season is good for leather shoes, no dirt no whitening of black shoes, whatever little mud that gets on them can easily be scratched out with a pen or nail for that matter, they get spanky clean with a small dip in stagnant pothole water bodies. I found two dried up mismatching (matching is for blouses) socks lying in corner of my shoe rack under old newspapers.I got ready, did my hair in the rayban sunglasses and i’m off to work.

I don’t carry umbrella, Umbrella is for uncles. I buy newspaper. When it’s raining it covers my head and when it’s not raining I can ogle at pictures in Bombay Times. And if a nice girl seats next to me in bus I can always pretend to be reading Economic times and impress her. It’s much much better than Umbrella. I went out, drizzle was still on, Two dogs were making love with each other in this romantic weather, A human couple walked past them in the gutter waters. Holding hands, laughing and dirty talking with each other to get in the tempo. I thought they got inspired from the dogs. I washed my shoes in one of the potholes, they look awesome. I polished them with my pants on the calf. Three girls of my company were standing at the bus stop. I smiled, They giggled, I ogled We moved on..

I found my perfect spot in the bus, I can see every girl that boards the bus. Their wet hair, drenched cloths, charming perfume makes my travel entertaining. Some smile at me, some try to flirt, for some I try to flaunt my muscles through my wet shirt. They enjoy. I like rainy season. It makes girls a bit more horny. I ignore most of them.

I don’t care about office. Work is a pastime to get money and buy more cloths. I don’t smoke. So i bought a water bottle. I add some vodka in it and drink off the entire day. I feel fresh when i get out of my cubicle. The rain continued.

I stay late in the office. My boss gets impressed by that, in the night there is none to complain about my bad alcoholic breath so i don’t have to use mouth freshener now and then. No girls around to disturb me while downloading movies and songs. I ask girls to do my work in day, they get it done from their wannabe boyfriends. I don’t sleep with any of them.

I called cab, the driver was dozing so I gave him some of my booze. I drove like Schumacher He slept in the back seat. Rain went on, there was a girl drunk and puked outside my door, I put her on my Neighbor’s doormat, went in, dropped my cloths. Removed my shoes. And went to bed.

Wishing to God there be no rain tomorrow!

Beauty & Brain

In Dil Se on August 29, 2011 at 3:39 pm

These two words are mostly considered as oxymoron when used for girls. A beautiful girl is mostly assumed to be a dumb and we don’t expect any visual delight from a girl talking sci-fi stuff. A girl with beauty and brain is as rare as a hair over Sehwag’s head. Even if a damsel is one of this kind she becomes too manly to be called as a girl. No wonder there are more blonde jokes than nerdy humors.

But for some people size of bra-in matters more than size of bra. A girl quoting Gandalf is considered hotter than a girl with beach blonde hair. If a girl sends a torrent link on FB then these people are instantly in love with her. They don’t bother about how she looks or dresses or even if she takes a bath every day or not. What matters more is how she can be a pain in ass to your nerdy, self declared Tech-savy friend. They want this girl in their life, They can fantasize to fuck her brains out than to get a free entry to playboy Mansion. for them hotness does not matter as long as she beats you in a game of Scrabble.

The madness over a brainy girl is justifiable. Beauty fades with time but intelligence is refined with age. A person who understands your intellectual and emotional needs gives the greatest pleasure on earth, ‘The Peace of mind’. Imagine the one of your girl friends to whom you can forward a ‘TED’ link and discuss it for hours over the phone or another who is discussing sex and the city and bitching about it’s characters! What will you prefer?

I think society has great contribution in making a beautiful girl dumb. Signs of a girl’s sexual attractiveness gets visible as soon as her t-shirt starts to leave contact of her stomach, and drop freely from her prominent feminine curls. Many hungry male eyeballs stare at her irrespective of her age or relation. More good looking a girl is more she has to face these lolling men. As she grows older she realizes that Men can be slaved by feminine grace and beauty. She tries to preserve her beauty, try to enhance it, she envies anyone who is more popular or beautiful, all her intelligence and brain power works for one goal. Be more popular, more beautiful and get more men to follow her.

Now when so many people are following her, looking up to her owing to her beauty and popularity. A beautiful girl becomes more conscious about her social status and social appearance. She becomes self centered and self pampering. Studies and intellectual upbringing takes a back seat, beauty and fashion takes preference. Adoring parents, over complementing peers and drooling members of society does not let them to learn and live the life hard way. They are always there when she needs any help.Catch her even before she falls.

Dumbness grows and develops like this in early teenage, It becomes prominent when nerdy geeks (males and females alike) make it an issue to overshadow the beauty and defame her. A not so beautiful girl (because of her girly instincts) actually envies her beauty and emotionally harass her. As the time ticks years away things change and life becomes hard, she tries to keep and hold her beauty, her youth and charm. Botox, creams and cosmetic surgeons earn from this helpless struggle. And then when life starts to fall apart, boobs hang and tummy slackens these girl meet their worst fear. “Loneliness”. The depression comes along and finally mental illness.

May be what I am saying here is a bit drastic, little unrealistic and too much dramatic. But look around, see and observe. Why a guy or girl becomes or acts dumb? Why there is more probability of finding a good looking guy or girl dumb? What makes them so ignorant and so negligent about some things so trivial and so obvious? How can you make yourself a bit more presentable and acceptable among your geeky friends? How your over pampered child can sustain the race of higher education? How it can save itself from witty harassment?

I don’t know how many will read this and out of them how many will agree to me. May be I am wrong or may be I think too much. But what ever it is this is what I feel and Writing that matter the most to me!

Virtual Reality of Life

In Dil Se on June 27, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Last weekend I went for a CSR camp. It involved living in rural area with the locals, working for them. Get a feel of what they go through in day to day life. Their hardships and the way they manage to overcome them. It was nothing very frenzy or extra ordinary stuff. All those who had their grandparents coming from small villages have at some point of time in life have experienced this. So I had a “yeah, lets have fun” kind of nostalgic way of looking into it.

But there were also some freshly baked MBAs and Corporate toddlers in our group. And to my surprise they had their lives so woven around social networking site that I was horrified by the way they looked into the matters.

Primary motive of these lads to come to this CSR camp was to add another point in CV.

Doing some trivial country work was a major resume` achievement for them.

Every time any of this bunch of city lads would do some totally villager stuff, each of them will like it, then and there calling out “likes” and showing their thumb ups.

If some one clicks a picture they will bet about number of comments this pic will receive.

For them the coolest photographer is the one who gets 100 likes as soon as he/she uploads a picture on Facebook.

They would continuously talk about GKhamba or some other Tweleb’s tweets.

Many were reciting the latest tweets of Aishwarya Rai’s pregnancy like parrots.

Till the time everyone parted many of them had added half of the crowd to friend list via their iPhone/BB or Androids.

By Monday morning they had created a group on facebook to share photos and tag each other.

Few of the smart asses are putting some vague links of enGadget and Faking news on the group.

Few girls that came, are suddenly having more people liking their profile pics and commenting on them.

Looking at their overall behavior in and out of the “Social Responsibility” camp I feel like whatsoever responsibility they have is limited to only “Online Social Network”. No one was interested in learning the way of living, doing something to improve it. They only wanted their status updates to look awesome and thier photos to get more likes.

These so called social networking websites have actually isolated the individuals. Everyone is wants his/her profile to look cool, they have maximum likes or most of the comments. They should have more followers and more RTs. They are going miles to make their profile look good, spending hours on internet to find and upload things to look cool. Every one is trying to prove their selves, advertise their attitude, drown in self obsession. A complete new breed of narcissists is growing up around us. What are we seriously doing?

Addictions, obsession and over enthusiasm for something is acceptable, but when a line between virtual and real world gets thinner and starts to vanish out It’s the time when we have to wake up. That does not mean deleting your profile or logging out right now, It means that let life be life in two worlds separated as it is separated by worlds one made by God and one made by Man.

Do Not Reinvent the Wheel Copy Paste it

In Dil Se on May 26, 2011 at 11:41 pm

They say the prehistoric human who first invented a wheel didn’t know what he was doing. He might have seen round boulders rolling down faster than the square one and that might be the flash of genius for invention of wheel. Since then we have come far from heavy stone wheels to alloy wheels and even moving further to spoke less wheels. But the basic concept of having a round circular minimum friction element to ease the movement of heavier irregular element over the surface of earth has not changed. So that does not mean we have invented various wheels but that means we just innovatively found various ways to use the wheel.

Most of the times in our professional life especially when we are infants crawling into the corporate world we do not understand the meaning of this “not reinventing the wheel” term. When you are an engineering graduate freshly out of oven of practical and manual calculations you tend to verify everything you do with a critical scale. You do not believe in the rule of thumb or standard practices anymore. You feel that being an engineering graduate you should know what goes behind this stuff. How every stuff works? You then start digging into the matter; you question age old standards and practices. You try to make difference by adding your own inventions. Your efforts can be right, logically correct but utterly useless.

Unfortunately this world does not revolve around technical superiority. This era demands innovation not invention. Innovations are someone else’s invention wrapped and decorated by your intelligence. Many of these innovations have copy pasting as a major inspiration. Innovations cannot be pulled out of thin air. Each innovation needs to have an invention in its backbone. Hence to make some innovative findings we have to copy paste the original invention and edit, re-paste, debug and rerun it to make it look like an innovation. The decorated innovations sell. No one looks back into the source of cntrl-c. There should be no shame in doing copy pasting if it is easing out some efforts. Although a true copy paster should not be a blind person otherwise there will be some invention to happen for sure.

I believe in copy pasting. Every engineer does that during submission period. All the practicals and journals are copy pasted. No one has his Final year project report entirely drafted by him without any kind of wikian copying. It’s not cheating to copy if you have read the whole thing. But blind cntrl-c, cntrl-v exercise does not help. You should at least change the format, active voice to passive voice, combine sentence al the grammar you learned in fifth grade will help to innovate your reports. The same goes correct for your deliverables in a project. Copy and paste whole world is balanced on these two things. It starts from copying phonetics in early childhood to the end of the life. It is the eternal truth and gets better by every cntrl-v hit. It is no shame in copying from a learned in exam, after all you are the one who is writing in the exam, you should get all the marks you deserve. Why to re-invent something which is already available in the answer sheet of neighbouring nerd?

On a closing note I want to remind you all that all the inventions are result of great hard work of their inventors, but all the innovations are result of further more hard work and dedication of the innovators. To innovate you have to do the copy pasting but it’s your ability and skill that make you different if someone else can find your cntrl-v worth another cntrl-c.

Are you Mr. Right?

In Dil Se on April 19, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Are you Mr. Right?

This question is oblivious to you being a woman or a man. Yeah girls, even men ask the same question to themselves everyday. A new breed of metro-sexual men who are insecure about themselves ask this question everyday to the mirror. Am I the Mr. Right? Will I be a choice of any Ms. Right? Is someone searching for me right now? Or will I be one of those unlucky 86 (914 sex ratio in India 😦 ) Do I look good? Do I smell good? Why that other guy is so popular among girls and not me?

If you are a guy reading this perhaps the one who stumbled upon this through Google search then see yourself once again. Do you have a big tummy growing around your west because of inactivity in real world? Or Do you spend 80% of your time searching babes on internet and getting high by dirty chatting with them? Do you have phone pals? You can be extremely funny with an online girl-friend but stammer in front of a female receptionist. If you have even one of these characteristics then perhaps some where deep in your mind you know that you are one of those unlucky 86. You know you are not gonna get the girl you yearn for.

Girls, this breed of digital males is increasing these days. Since the time girls have started choosing their mates, males have become insecure. They think there is no point in fighting among themselves when the most eligible female mate can easily be wooed by a non compatible male. Because of this insecurity these males have started to become obsessed by female ideas of perfect male. That is Mr. Right. Now the question arises how to become Mr. Right?

As we know Woman mind is the most mysterious place in universe. Seeking an answer there is like searching for source of light in black hole. And searching for answer to “Mr. Right” question is beyond scope of male brain. So what do males do? They compare themselves with most successful males. TV/Movie stars, Sport stars etc. They try to become like them. Working out, protein diets, facials, make ups, apparels, accessories have become a part of their obsession. They have started taking care of their complexion, hair, diet, figure, looks. They started waxing, plucking, threading, dying. In the race of becoming the Mr. Right they are actually loosing their Macho image.

But then do all these feminine obsession really succeed? Now this is utmost important question to both the sexes who are reading this. Girls/Boys what do you think about a guy who talks about SPF 40 sunscreen better than Petronas W02 car? or a guy who skips a sports bar hang out for an appointment with hair dresser? Surely you gonna doubt about existence of his testicle sack. But then that’s the reality. There are men getting counseling for  after break up depression. Men who are made polygamous by nature why get devastated after loosing one female mate (in most of cases without mating) ? And do you think these are the Males nature will consider for propagating Human species?

Mr. Right is totally a female concept. To become a Mr. Right is like being born from female “Brain” rather than from her womb. If you think you want to be Mr. Right then be yourself. Be Macho, be testorious not like a sissy. I know girls will agree to me when i say they will choose a guy with testicle sack than a guy with make up kit.

On a closing note i would like to quote a Chinese guy from China Town

“Be a Man, Do the Right thing”

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